• Colin Yuan

BREAKING: Elon Musk Becomes World’s Richest Person With Personal Money Printing Machine

By Colin Yuan

Elon Musk, professional CEO, Internet Memer, and business magnate, became the world’s wealthiest person last week, surpassing home defense expert Jeff Bezos. Since March 2020, Musk’s fortune has grown by a whopping $140 billion. This sudden increase in wealth has left many puzzled and questioning. However, our undercover team, with a spy camera, discovered that Musk invented a personal money printing machine in his home, likely the reason for his extraordinary wealth growth last year. Musk is currently under fire for his criminal actions. The United States Central Bank is slightly concerned with inflation, as well as the impacts it may have on the economy. The loyal worshippers of Musk’s electric car company, Tesla, became “Teslanaires” overnight as Musk gave them bonuses for their hard-work to denounce ICE (internal combustion engine) vehicles, crippling competitors like BMW and Mercedes-Benz. We reached out to a couple of these “Teslanaires” and asked about Musk’s actions.

Batman Von Suparman, professional hiker: “I don’t see anything wrong with Elon’s machine. It’s obviously effective. What’s the big deal?”

John Smith, a reindeer walker: “It was a win-win-win-win situation for everyone! The government just had to intervene. I say no more government intervention! We want a free market!”

Julius Pepperwood, a happiness advocate: “I will make a money printing machine too now! Elon’s a genius, I’ve never thought of this.”