• Leila Pagel

Leftover Candy

By Leila Pagel

In the weeks after Halloween, the challenge of what to do with all the leftover Halloween candy is a very pressing one, for almost nobody, until this year. People usually fall into two categories: they bought candy to hand out and most of it is gone by the end of the night or they went around to strangers’ houses collecting candy. For those in the first category, the candy usually goes pretty quickly because they either gave it away to kids knocking on their doors demanding free candy or because they knew no kids really came to their neighborhoods and Halloween was just the perfect excuse to buy a big bag of candy at the grocery store to devour in a matter of hours without needing to come up with another excuse (“My dog really likes KitKats and she’s mad at me,” “It’s for an art project,” or the way overused, “I need to bribe the penguin that lives in the alley next to my window or it’ll take my other pinky finger”). And for those in the second category, the “trick-or-treaters” (more commonly known as the candy thieves), their adrenaline rush is so intense that they gobble up most, if not all, of the goodies that night. Last year, however, as with so many other celebrations, things were different. Instead of buying candy to hand out, people bought the fifty percent off bags of candy bars to eat as a distraction from the horror that was 2020 or to throw at whatever kids dared to come within six feet of their doors (among the people in this category, it was not uncommon for them to freeze their candy so it would hurt the most as their pelted the little candy thieves that tried to come to their homes). During the days that followed Halloween it became clear that eating your weight in mini Snickers would not make your problems disappear. Also, the frozen candy strewn about the lawns of those who defended their homes from trick or treaters started to thaw, drawing such large numbers of squirrels that people had to go out and recollect the candy (all while being hit with tiny pebbles the neighborhood children had collected). These events led to millions of people stranded with too much candy that for once, no one really wanted to eat. Being intelligent creatures, people of course did not learn their lesson when it came to buying holiday candy. As soon as the winter holidays rolled around, people went out in force to purchase more sweets, even knowing they still had buckets of Halloween candy left in their cabinets. Upon waking up from sugar comas, people again came to the realization that sugar could not spare them from the horrors we are all living through right now and found themselves left with even more unwanted candy than before. If this is a problem that has affected you, fear no more! We have compiled a list of recipes and unconventional uses for your leftover candy that will be sure to last you through 2021.

1. Caramel Chocolate Lasagna - Find a new use for your Rolos and Snickers (taking out the peanuts may take a while, but it’s worth it, especially if you save them for our Thai Peanut Sauce with a Hint of Caramel and Maybe Some Nougat) with this delicious recipe. The tomato sauce combines beautifully with the creamy chocolate and the parmesan will really make the caramel pop.

2. Sweet and Crunch-y Salami Sandwiches - You guessed it, this recipe beautifully marries the sweetness of your leftover Crunch bars with the saltiness of the salami that’s been sitting at the bottom of your fridge for almost a month (if you can’t find any of this hard to get ingredient, check under the open bag of year-old hot dogs and the slimy pile of lettuce covered in dead ants, just remember to cut off the moldy bits of salami!).

3. Kiss Your Diet Goodbye Quesadillas - This recipe calls for any holiday flavored Hershey’s Kisses, but our recipe testers have found best results are produced when you use 75% hot cocoa Kisses and 25% candy cane Kisses. The beautiful result is produced by melting down the chocolate in a pan and then frying it until it forms a crispy shell with which to add your cheesy. One bite into this gooey treat and you’ll never make a normal quesadilla again.

4. Fruit Tuna Salad - This twist on a traditional recipe involves using Skittles to bring out the fruitiness in your tuna salad and add that extra chewiness you’ve been missing. Don’t forget to pull out your Sour Spaghetti Gummy Candy for garnish!

5. Peppermint Bark Pizza - While many will talk on and on about how much they love pineapples on their pizza, few are willing to share the safely guarded secret of the wonders that occur when you add this classic holiday candy to your pizza. This recipe infuses the ingredient into every step. By kneading it into the dough, sauteing it with the sauce, grating it with the cheese, and sprinkling it among the toppings, you will create an amazingly delicious dish that will blow your mind.

6. Candy Corn Salsa - Candy corn may have started as strictly a Halloween treat, but after extending to all sorts of different holidays by simply changing its colors, we’re expanding it to a year round treat with this salsa recipe. The candy has just the perfect amount of sweetness to counteract the jalapeños and spices, with all of it being tied together beautifully with some lime juice. Grab the chips because this colorful salsa will go quickly!